Star Wars Episode III Review

Well, here we are. The last Star Wars movie opened my freshman year, and was the first movie I ever saw at Regal’s People’s Plaza, which became the theater of choice for my friends and I, so it’s appropriate enough that Star Wars Episode III close out my career both at this college and at that theater. It’s funny the way things come full circle like that. I recently saw my 2nd favorite band, Weezer for the second time at the Electric Factory in Philly. They were the first live band I saw in college and also the last, so I’m on a roll right now for weird symmetry. But let’s cut to the chase. You guys want to hear an opinion, because 1) I’m a movie freak and 2) I’m a Star Wars freak. This is gonna be kind of tough to do without getting into specifics about the film, but here’s my non-spoiler review of Episode III: tremendously entertaining, a huge step up for the franchise in recent years, but ultimately flawed. Go see it, you’ll have a great time, but don’t expect it to approach the glory of the original trilogy. In particular I’m speaking to those of you who hold the original three in holy grail status. Watch the last two prequels, set your expectations around that level and it’ll blow them away. If you’re expecting “Luke, I am your father”, well you’ll just be disappointed. Ok, so now that you’ve read that, go see the movie, come back, and I’ll start discussing movie specifics. It’s cool, I’ll wait. Trust me, you don’t want to read this stuff before you’ve seen it.

You’re back? Good. I’m guessing there are 3 people reading this article right now. One loved the movie and can’t understand what I wanted out of it that would have disappointed me. The second one had some reservations and wanted to see if I had the same issues he/she did. And the third just thought it was complete garbage and can’t understand how I possibly liked any of it. So here goes (and before I start, for those of you that have discarded my warnings so far, this is your last chance, SPOILERS AHEAD). At the opening of the film we get one of the two trademarks of the series: the space battle. This was an absolutely fantastic sequence and kicked the film off wonderfully. This is probably my second favorite space battle in the series, after the assault on the Death Star in Jedi. It’s clear that Lucas and ILM have finally mastered the look of CGI in this film, and we finally get effects that look as good as the miniatures from the original films. Even the digital characters for the most part look entirely believable. Yoda (who turned from a muppet into CG in between ep’s 1 and 2) in particular looks great and his fight sequences look much better than the last film. Before long we get to the second Star Wars trademark: the lightsaber battle. This is where we find one of my biggest issues with the film. Ok I loved Darth Maul in the first prequel, but I personally blame Ray Park for making Lucas think that all Jedis need to do flips and spins in the air. Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker’s battles were incredibly cool without the acrobatics, so why do we need to see decrepit old men like Christopher Lee and Emperor Palpatine jumping around like Spider-man? It bothered me enough when Yoda did it in Episode II and it looks even worse with these characters. It just sucks when your favorite element of a film series gets turned into Cirque de Solei. The battle does end on a high note however when we see Anakin’s evil start to emerge for the first time. Skipping ahead a little, we come to another great scene between Palpatine and Anakin where the origins of the Sith, Palpatine, and Anakin are revealed. This is very well executed and creates three satisfying origins in a series of unsatisfying ones. There’s one problem though: the return of Medi-chlorians. I really thought Lucas had abandoned them, as they were the biggest complaint of all (except for Jar Jar) about the prequel series. It’s an incredibly stupid idea to have a measurable biological trait for the Force, turning spirituality into science, and I really thought someone in Lucas’s camp would have realized that after the initial fan outrage. Next we have Obi Wan’s assault on the droid army which has some incredibly cool elements and some incredibly lame ones. Noticing a trend here? The cool part is the kick-ass battle between Obi Wan and General Grevious which adds another sweet lightsaber battle to a movie that has already had one and promises at least three more. The bad part is this covert assault being carried out, riding a giant CGI gecko (no, not that one) yelping its head off the whole way. But yet again, the good outweighs the bad so I’m willing to let my minor problems go and enjoy the movie. About this point is where the tide turns in the other direction though. The scene between Mace Windu, Palpatine, and Anakin is played so incredibly broad and over-the-top, that it elicits unintended laughter in a movie where questionable acting and dialogue are already expected. When you see an actor as talented as Samuel L Jackson struggle with material, you know something’s up. This was supposed to be one of THE scenes of the movie and it disappointed me so much that I just felt my enthusiasm for the film drain away. This was compounded when all the Jedi are killed in a matter of moments by Stormtroopers. Stormtroopers!!!! These things can’t even hit R2D2 after his side-rockets have mysteriously disappeared, yet they can slaughter the most powerful force in the galaxy without breaking a sweat. Did the clone pool get contaminated between the trilogies? This brings us to the big 2 fights of the movie (and perhaps the series): Anakin vs Obi Wan and Yoda vs Palpatine. The Anakin/Obi Wan fight is spectacular and completely lives up to the epic promise that was first made in 1977 (minus a little logic on the effects of lava, but that’s just nit-picking). Yoda’s battle with the newly appointed Emperor is also pretty cool, aside from a little of the aforementioned flipping and unintentional humor. Finally we come to the end of the film, which gives us some of the coolest moments of the movie and some of the most infuriating. So I’ve already told you the whole movie, but this is the end so MAJOR ENDING SPOILERS: the creation of Darth Vader is an incredibly cool Frankenstein-esque scene and hearing the breathing again got me back to the excitement level I had at the opening. So what went wrong? Vader’s howl. Is it out of character for Anakin? No. Is it out of character for Darth Vader? Hell yes it is. I realize this may just seem like semantics to most, but when he puts that suit on, he damn well better start acting like the coolest villain to ever grace the silver screen and the Vader I know would never show that kind of emotion. The other problem with the end is Padme’s death. This could have been so easy to execute and they still find a way to cheese it up and induce groans. Dying of a broken heart? Give me a break. From there we get to my favorite part of the movie. No, not the credits. I’m not that negative. Darth Vader is standing next to the Emperor on a Star Destroyer observing construction of the Death Star while Luke Skywalker is on Tatooine in the orange glow of two simultaneous sunsets and all is right in the galaxy far far away again.

Well that’s it from me for a while. I’ve had a lot of fun making this blog, but my class is over, so I no longer have that weekly quota anymore. I’ll be back periodically with reviews on Batman Begins, War of the Worlds, Fantastic Four, and any other movie that I really want to talk about. Until then, in the immortal words of Garden State’s Titembay: peace out playa.